missing 2

Was in cinema.
The person next to me
Wasnt you.

I was cold.
The air-condition is making me cold.
I was shaking.

I miss you.
I miss to cuddle under your arms.
You always rub my arms so I wont feel cold.
You put my hand on your tummy to warm with your warmth.

Where are you?
ok...
I know I should sleep now.

miss R

I miss him.

No one care.

So go sleep.

Good night.

Lost

I am so lost.

I do not know.

I need to sleep.

我怀念的

很想念她。

姑婆。

听起来，应该是远亲，对吧？

不是。姑婆和外婆住在一起，看着我们长大， 是我们的一份子。

儿时的百家被，

和表姐表哥一起狼吞虎咽吃的鸡脚；

现在还在怀念的客家咸茶， 肉饼，春卷， 粽子，现在可真的吃不到了。

早知道我那天就进去ICU看看她，因为那是最后一面。早知道。早。知。道。

有首歌：“我从新加波流泪到新山”哈哈。。。我真的是这样。

从新加波赶回去的那条旅程，我的眼睛没有干过。 我没有理会别人的眼光，我就一直哭，一直哭。。哭到我的隐形眼镜在投诉了，我还在哭。

因为我知道，回到去，我就该坚强。我就该撑起大家。这是我的责任。

那两天，我一直就在姑婆旁为他烧金银纸，因为那是离她最近的地方。这是一种陪伴，一种守护。幸好有表哥，小舅在旁陪伴，不然我想我会一直想哭。

一直都很坚强。因为我没有遗憾和后悔。我一有时间就会培姑婆聊天，听她炫耀自己的花草，还有小小鱼。虽然我知道她年时高，却没有留意到是高到可以让她离我们而去。这是我的疏忽。

崩溃。

那一刻，大家都崩溃。

我第一次看见妈妈哭，看着她抖动的背影，我的心都碎了。

看着舅舅哭得喘不过气， 我告诉自己，眼泪要往肚子里面吞。

已走的，我们做不了什么。

还在的，我会用尽全力去保护照顾。

姑婆没有白走。

这是我告诉姐姐的。

姑婆的走，提醒了我们，不要一直以为还有明天。

有些事，要做的及时。

那天，知道姑婆早就把所有的香烟托人卖掉了。

原来，她想戒烟。

原来，她还想再活下去。。。

那天，送她的人， 很多。

感恩。

我陪舅舅坐在棺材车里，护送姑婆到火化厂。

45分钟的路程， 我们只重复说了一句话：“姑婆，过桥了。”

一手摸着姑婆的棺木，心里不停地和她对话。

一手扶着舅舅的肩膀，给他最大的支持。

这段路，我们要坚定的带她走。

Yoga & Me

Today is a fruitful day!

I attended my yoga class early in the morning. I have stopped from praticing yoga for ages.

I like yoga.
Yoga brings me to a peaceful mind.
I find achivement and satisfaction in Yoga.
I feel happy when I able to do the challenging posture.

My friends admire on me because I can simply bend and stretch my body here and there for a certain yoga posture. I am proud on myself because I can make it perfectly.

Why?
haha....
You may think I was born with softer ligaments so i can over strecth/bend my body.
But I think we are equal in everthing.

I believe pratice makes perfect!
I believe in Yoga; I believe I can pose the posture, so I try and try and try, no rush but patiently adjust my body from day to day. Some yoga postures may looked insane. Like this:When you see people having this yoga posture, you may sound" Wow!!!" or " Urgh! is he/she human? where's his/her bones?" or " it's torturing!" For me, it's in another case. Yoga requires patience.

Everyone can make this..... : As long as you understand your body well.
I have been using some time to know every part of my body.
Every single movement in yoga will make you understand more about your body.
Listen to your body, you will know more.
You will find the strength and weakness on your body.

Today, I found my right leg is weaker than my left leg.
Everytime I travel by bus, I can feel pain on my right knee.
Well, I have to take care of it and something is wrong on it. :p

Some life lessons I get from yoga:

* The secret of life has become clearer; things become simple when you know yourself more.
* There are so many unfair treatment in life. So what? This is life and we are human. Let's try to accept those imperfections so we can find another way to make things perfect!

I remember my athlete senior strongly suggested me to quit from yoga because he thinks yoga is a kind of " lazy sport "
haha.....
What do you think?

just a bit emo

phew~

not very good recently

even though I still smile like a sunshine

Things become more complicated

that's not just :" if u dun like, u can leave."

Nope.

Not that easy..

I cant leave.

I gonna stay.

Thousands of burden on my shoulder now.

Heavy.

How many times I wake up at 4am and stare at the ceiling and cant fall asleep again?

How many times I dream myself working hard in the office?

How many times I find myself sweating?

SzeWei:" I think u are still adapting to new environment."

I hope so.

Most of the time, I am just be quite and think.

I need someone.

I look at my left, no one.

I look at my right, no one.

I am alone.

( Well.....guys, dun get freak with this, i know it's wasting time to think I am alone)

hui e, wen, yeesan, I know u gals are always there for me.

But i am a lonely fighter.

I gonna fight in the toughest war.

I dun wan

Just wan to kick their ass!

Kenny:"sweetheart, u knw you are a fighter! I am proud of you!"

Yes, Sir...I know it....

When I am in something that I not really want , I have to make a change or make a big U-turn, but there are no other roads for me. I have to keep moving and telling myself, :" Come On, I can make it!"(bull-shit)

*** To M

Dear son of bitch~ :) Keep on doing those f*ck things on me! I knw u are reading this! This is for you:" You cant break a broken heart!" I got nothing to lose!

*** To D

What's that for!? Use your brain instead of your butt! U make no sense! So stopping doing that because I am naive not stupid! I know EVERYTHING!

What I wan.....is someone hold me and tell me :" everything will be alright!"

But there is no one.

Anywhere, I gonna stand up and move :)

Who belongs to where?

Because of my work, I have to explore myself to most of the issues in Ireland.

Republic of Ireland is a beautiful coutry. It was one of the wealthiest country in the earth before economic crisis 2008. People in Republic Ireland is friendly and kind.

While, it might be another story in Northen Ireland. You might be shocked to know how serious the racist attacks that happened in Northen Ireland. The "hot" issue in the Northen Ireland might be 

-->  "They don't belong here," we've been told. "They're taking our jobs," one caller said; "they're taking our benefits" said another.

One fact we should take note is : there is only 1% of the population are non-local residents.

Yet, it is averanging 20 racist attacks every week.

Does a 5-day old babty born in Belfast is belong to here?

Do other European nationals belong to here?

Do people who are trying to make better life for their families belong to here?

How we gonna determine who belong to where?

Maybe......I mean m.a.y.b.e......Northern Ireland is sick.

Academic study has disclosed that Northern Ireland has prejudice and culture. They are intolerance to "foreigners".

A local-study also revealed that , Northen Ireland is the most prejudice place in the Westen country.

Come on! Wake up Northern Ireland!

my song playlist 1

弦子---第三者的第三者

我想现在的她很快乐

希望你晓得 这样不值得

虽然我们曾爱过

她也曾是第三者

但我不会不让自己重蹈覆辙

我很快乐

请不要再说爱我

别再触碰我心里还未伤愈的角落

习惯一个人的我

并不是缺你不可

如果你是爱我的 就别让自己再犯错

我很快乐

请不要再说爱我

我已经把失去的当成是了一种收获

悲伤的剧情太多 曾经也侵袭着我

所以我不再做 这第三者的第三者

That Day -- Maria Arredondo

Something 'bout your eyes

That I can not forget

Something 'bout your smile

Makes it hard for me to sleep at night

Something about me

Doesn't work like normally

Something about you

That I can't hold on to

Am I waiting in vain?

Do I deserve this pain?

When will I see you again?

Why did you talk to me -- that day

Why did you say those things -- that day

Why did you come to me -- then walk away

When there was something in the air

Soemthing in the wayt I meet you that day

Still can feel the way you looked at me

And I wonder how you stole my heart completely

Something in the way you would hold my hand

That I believe the fate will bring you back to me again

A guy like you belongs to somebody else

A guy like you will never come back again

Do you think of me now

Do you ever wonder how

We can meet again, meet again?

bear in mind bear in mind

亲爱的， 会离开你的人， 就是不适合你的人，就是只能在过去通行一段路的人， 就是与你无缘的人。 一个到处破洞的气球，任你再怎么努力为他灌气，它也不可能再度飞到天上去。

让他走，不是为了成全什么，只是为了让自己好过而已，别为难了自己。

爱的时候，深情款款是温柔。

不爱了， 不怨不尤，这才是更深的温柔。

How you use ur words?

I just cant take my eyes off from her.

I cant get rid of the habit that I have in my uni life, I just cant smooth the frown on my forehead.

She is a skinny girl. She never stop from walking here and there, cleaning the tables and delivering beverages to customers.

How old is she? Why she is here? What the heck she is doing here? 

She should in school in this hour! I have a lot of questions in my mind. She should have her education in school instead of being a waitress in this hawker center!

Well....It might be not polite to stare at her along the way, but I just cant help myself.

Before I left, I found that she is mute, she cant talk.

huh.....okay....this really messed up my mind. Thousand of feeling went through my mind. 

We should appreciate that we can talk. We should take this gift to express our feeling to others. She cant use any verbal way to express her feeling....

Why we seldom tell those we love " I love you." 

Why we seldom say " Thank you " 

Why we seldom say " Sorry "

Why we always use harsh words to hurt those we deeply in love.

Why we always create rumours to ruin reputation of others.

Why we always remain silent when talking is a necessary.

Let's ask yourself , 

do you have a single conversation with your daddy today?

do you ask your parents " How's your day " today?

Do you? Have you? Why dont you ask? Why?

Finally....this is the truth

The house is extremely silent. The only sound that surrounding the house comes from my laptop.

With my shaking hands and wrenching heart, I cant believe what I see at the moment. 

My eyes are covered by mist.I read his blog repeat and repeat again. 4 times. I read it 4 times....again and again....

" I had a total of 5 dates last year.........all…horribly twisted......... " what?! I cant believe our precious  memories is a ....horribly twisted memories for him. ...halo? let's make it clear who messed the thing up!?

I think I can never understand him. He always mysterised himself.

I have been finding many excuses to make a happy ending for our story without really listening to my friends cruel but true opinions. 

I liked him so much, Bastard! 4 months ago.

Thanks you. Really.

I accepted the truth.

trouble maker

life is fun!
we play variety of roles in our life.

I am a daughter.
I am a friend.
I am a student.
I am a grandchild.
I am a senior.
I am a sister.
I am a brother.
I am a neighbour.
I am a client.
I am a consumer.
I am a listener.
I am a speaker.
I am a presentor.
I am a free thinker.
and so on and on......

I like to play those roles in my life, I enjoy them!
Every second , every minute, I try my best to be the best of me!

but.....
I hate to be.....a trouble maker.......

If the appearance of me cause the trouble and make you recall all your hurts...
then I think I am the perfect trouble maker. ( never success like this before =D)
Why it is so hard for me to bring you hapiness?

or.....happy always come with hurt?

first day without you

u are here for me, i can touch u and feel u
but why i feel like i am in my dream?
I knw , I will wake up finally.
I wish , Not to wake up.

But u , wake me up.

U have stress from ur job
I have stress from my study
I thought we can share n face it together

But u reject
U prefer to face it by urself
U only wan to make me happy

But dear, I wish to go through every moment with u
no matter is the happy moment
or
the sad moment

U wish to have a perfect start
U wish to give me a perfect memory

But u knw wat i wish?
I just wish a simple start

My dear,
sometime love shouldnt have so much rational thinking
Love,
is a feeling,
Planning too much....is a dealing but not a love

心寒

博升

一即陌生却又有距离感的名字

在任的那一年里

我们

一起熬过了无数次的夜

彻夜未眠

一起开过数不清的会议

大大小小

一起为每一件事不停的争论

吵吵闹闹

一起面对过无数次的困难

互相支持

一起照顾与寻找学幼

目标一致

一起到出去玩了

玩乐最大

看着不停在电脑摆动的照片

看着照片里的人

他们深知我的性格

他们了解我的脾性

他们知道我的任性

我深知他的糊涂

我了解他的彷徨

我知道他的镇定

可是

在邦格岛

我不停的默默地问自己

我们真地认识吗？

在卸任以后

我们似乎越来越陌生

心理，不禁一阵心寒

我们真地认识吗？

还是

我们应该重新认识？

信仰

人，为什么要有信仰？

以前，我不懂。

我，

没有信仰。

但，我相信各宗教的神佛存在。

并且，给于他们最崇高的尊重。

以前，我不知道信仰的重要。

认为，人生的路应该靠自己。

不该，祈求。

今天，我很无助。

收到好友的电邮。

心， 很疼。

霎那间，

我好想祈祷。

好想为你祈祷，

请求老天帮我

照顾你。

可是，

祈祷的对象。。。。

没有

。

此刻，

我才发觉，

信仰的重要。

原来，

人在最无助的时候，

是需要信仰来

依靠。

对不起。

我对你的关心，吝啬得可以。

别害怕。

今后不管什么事，我决定了！和你一起面对！

好不好，

我们，

就信仰

我们自己？

加油！朋友！

十一月十五号.

终于终于等到放假了~
我决定在这短短的假期里,好好的给自己充实一下!

各位朋友, 我已经能够开着我家的 WIRA 到处跑啦! 这是不是我三年前承诺过的哦!现在终于兑现了!!!
虽然是用了漫长的时间,但只要达成目标,我知道你们一定会为我感到高兴的!! ( 拍拍手) ^^

现在我在忙着啃书, 一本一直想读却又因为太忙而忘了的书.-->灿烂千阳


感谢开贤,如果不是你我都不记得有这本书的存在.
感谢春芳给我的网址让我在线上阅读.( 鞠躬!)
你知道的拉, 我们这些学生,有钱唱K,买衣服, 就是没钱买书. @@~

这本书的简介是这样的:

继畅销过百万册的《追风筝的人》之后，卡勒德•胡赛尼在《灿烂千阳》里展现了半个世纪阿富汗妇女所要忍耐的种种。个人，要忍耐饥饿、病痛的约束。家庭要承受战争的创伤、难民的流离失所。国家要忍耐前苏联、塔利班与美国的战争。这是一部阿富汗忍耐的历史。

我一面读, 脑海里不断的出现一段字:

"能活在这个时代,这个国家,这个家庭,我真的真的是好幸福!"

对我而言,书里讲述的主要是在阿富汗时代,女性的渴望,女性如何在男女不平等的时代委屈求全,如何保受身理和心理的折磨等....

再一次....我好幸福哦!! ( 泪旺旺~@@)

教授，,考试应该有国文版本啦!

没错!你没看错! 我也没打错！
这句话，是出自我的大学的同学，马同学。
因为已经进入最后一年的我们所作的考试试卷都是用英文为媒介语。
所以，当教授问：“考试难不难啊？”
马同学：“教授，你应该用国文出考题，我们以前都是用国文的。”
当时的马同学把这句话说得理所当然。
而我的嘴巴张到可以整个下巴都掉下来了。。。真的是被。。。顶到！

还有，你敢相信吗？
大学生考试是允许带字典入考场的！
虽然我很不噱这样的通融，但我当时还是带了，因为不带白不带嘛！哼！

好了，现在重点不是在我带不带字典，而是。。。最近大家都在说大学生的水准下滑，对！学生本身就该对这点负责，但事实谁造就了这样的他们?!

82岁的英国前首相撒切尔夫人曾出国一本书“中国将不会成为世界大国”
这句话，可能让很多人觉得这位老人家一定是落伍，跟不上时代的脚步，自己活在自己的世界里。难道尊贵的她没有看到中国在这几年内迅速的发展，现在已经是全世界所瞩目的国家之一吗。

且慢，先听听她怎么说:"中国将不会成为世界大国，那种可以用来推进自己的力量，从而削弱西方国家具有影响力的学说。
中国今天出口的是电视机，而不是思想观念。”电视机是死的东西，是一种加工产品，今天可以在中国生产，明天可以搬到非洲的象牙海岸制造，生产再多，也不会对世界赵成重大的改变。
思想观念是另外一回事。 表面上没有冲击力，但是，确实不着痕迹，潜移默化，进入人的脑袋；几经流传，还会形成意识形态，社会名纵一接受，就成为了制度。”

你一定很奇怪，这和我刚提到的事情有什么关系呢？
有！一定有！

如果你稍微有点思维，你就一定知道。。。

不要了

最近，常会有人问我，为什么当初那么坚决的要去追求自己想要的，
可是现在，才刚开始的旅程，还没见到曙光，我就要放弃？

我不是个轻易放弃的人；但我却是个很会衡量的人。
好与坏； 对与错，我还分得清。

太复杂的关系，我不要。
就算有多么渴望想要拥有， 我还是控制得住。

太假面的面具，我不戴。
就算那面具能给我想要的，我还是理智的很。

就像再好吃的巧克力蛋糕，放在我面前；
我也是可以吃了一口就不吃了，原因很简单；因为。。。我不要了！

豆知识

听过豆知识吗？
豆知识其实是来自于日本的名词。
豆知识已经是流传了蛮久的一个名词。

我这个outdated的人也是刚知道的喔！
豆知识：豆--只很小的，不注意也没关系
豆知识就是那些很小的常识，就算你不知道也没关系。

虽然毫不起眼，但是我却为它着迷。 因为它为我带来惊喜！

豆知识（一）：
原来男生能储存的尿液比女生多50CC哦！
所以改次如果男士们你们的女性有人一直上厕所，你们要多体谅哦！因为是有原因的！

豆知识（二）：
隐形眼镜最早被发明的是SCLERAL CONTACT LENS.
可是他现在却不是每个人都能带。他是特别给不能戴眼镜，也不能带普通隐形眼镜的人而改良的。

你的香气。

今天的图书馆， 很热闹。
很多人，叽里咕噜的谈着。

像往常一样，小庭独自坐在图书馆的一个角落复习那些复习不完的功课。
读着读着，鼻息里飘逸着一股熟悉的味道。
这股香气，把她从会计理论带回到了现实世界里。

人，就是很奇怪的动物。
有些味道，你一闻起，就会让你想到一些东西。
现在的小庭，脑子里不停的浮现他的影子，他们的过去。

那个香气，是他车上的味道。
那个香气，是他的回忆， 也是他的过去。


本能性的反应，他转过头去张望，
以为他就在附近， 以为她又可以在图书馆里遇见她。
以为她还是能看见他微笑的脸，以为的以为，不断的以为。

结果，她要的以为并没有实现。
那股香气是他的，但是他却没出现。

此时，小庭忍不住要对自己冷笑。
原来，过去的真的已经过去了。

虽然那股香气，不会只属于他。
但他的记忆里，还是住着一个过去的他。

现在的她，只想往自己身上喷上多多的香水，让她忘了他的香气。
最好连记，都记不起来。。。